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Changing your mind can change your life, but what happens when we make space for that change. What can you expect?

 


 

New blog added 12th Nov 2014

 

The tale of the new pair of shoes or what happens when we make space for change in our lives

 

 

A mother took her young son out to buy him a new pair of shoes to replace his old comfortable worn out pair.

Once upon a time his old worn out shoes were lovely but now they were just getting so worn and falling apart and could no longer be repaired and so it was time to change.

He was taken to the shops and for the very first time was allowed to choose his very own new shoes! He was so excited! 
He tried them on for size, walking up and down the shop and despite the fact that they were new, stiff and uncomfortable and hadn't yet worn in and become supple, moulding to his feet, his excitement at having a new pair of shoes, the desire for change, of having something better was stronger than all those other little niggles put together....

Well at first it was but when he has to wear those new shoes everyday he finds all those little niggles that funnily enough he didn't once notice at the time of choosing them because he was thinking about those new shoes in a different way. 
That's right, he just didn't notice because they were what he wanted and he was focussing on the moment of now, the thrill and excitement and that they were shiny and new and how grown up he felt being allowed to choose for himself.

As he wore those new shoes daily though, he noticed how uncomfortable they felt even though he hadn't noticed that at first and the more he dwelt upon the discomfort the more uncomfortable he felt. In fact it made it so difficult to think about anything else and school work started to suffer because all he could think about was how uncomfortable his shoes were and how his feet hurt....

He even started to think about how much he missed his old shoes and how much better they were even though they were old and worn out. He was feeling resentful about the change. Yes,these new shoes were so much more uncomfortable and they were ruining his daily life as he had to go everywhere in them.

You see,the old ones were so worn out and they were now in the bin and his mum just didn't have enough money to buy more than just the one pair. So the little boy cried and moaned all the time about how bad these new shoes were. The little boys mother understandably vexed at her sons apparent ingratitude asked him to tell her just why he was making such a big fuss over what seemed such a small thing. 
As grown ups we have such a lot on our minds to deal with that sometimes we forget what it was once like to be small where the little things seem so big. To his young mind without so many things in it, it was a big deal. He complained how he hated these new shoes,how they hurt his feet all the time and how that made it difficult to do anything much because his feet were so sore and the shoes so uncomfortable, that the old ones were better and why did you have to make me have a new pair of shoes mum?

His mum, patient, loving and wise,listened and gently reminded him of how he loved the shoes when he first tried them on and how he didn't even notice anything. The little boy stopped and thought about this and said yes mum your right but why do they feel so uncomfortable now? His mum patiently explained why he didn't notice because of all of the excitement of choosing the new shoes and feeling grown up. She then went on to explain that everything was new and that the shoes were still stiff and hadn't moulded and adapted and softened to the boys feet and walking style and that within a little while as he got used to wearing them that he would soon not even think about them as they blended in with everything in his everyday life. 
Understanding this and accepting the words of motherly wisdom imparted to him the little boy said sorry to his mum for making all that big fuss and told her how grateful he was for his new shoes and very soon as his mum had said those shoes became a little more comfortable everyday..... 


Life is a bit like that too,sometimes we desire change because something isn't the way we want it to be in our lives and we make that change. As the impact of that change is integrated into our life things tend to change as we think, behave and react differently to how we once did before. New challenges sometimes come to the surface which demand our attention and challenge our views on life and how we deal with it. 


These challenges can come from anywhere but perhaps typically they may come from our relationships with the people around us in our daily lives as they notice how we are different. Sometimes if some people do not find how we are different, easy for them, that may give rise to a new dynamic in your relationships which may create some change. Some of that change may leave you feeling good and some of the changes may mean the breaking down of old ways of relating and perhaps even in time a parting of ways. Sometimes when things are not working, it is more damaging to keep the status quo and just as a boil needs to lanced for the infection to clear the body so change is the only way forward for a person to grow to reach their full potential.

Sometimes when change is made and challenges come at us that we are not quite ready for we can become resentful of those changes and look to the past but looking to the past doesn't often serve our best interests particularly if in breaking free of old limiting behaviours and thinking and perhaps too breaking away from damaging relationships, business or personal, we have experienced positive change and growth. What we need is the patience and understanding to integrate those new changes into our lives and realise that like a chrysalis we are transforming. In fact in hypnotherapy the chrysalis is symbolic of transformation and growth. Just like the new pair of shoes our changes will soon become part of the normal pattern of our lives. The control we have in understand ing the power of hypnosis to make paradigm shifts of change and growth in our lives can take us to wherever we want to go in life. All we need is to work at the things we want and become focussed and patient.

Trevor Wales. Dip hyp. GQHP BWRT. GHR. CRSST.CNHC

 

 

 


 

Anorexia, Bulimia, Addictions and Laxatives in the news today.

 


 

New blog added 16 th oct 2014

 

 

Some very disturbing news on BBC's breakfast TV news this morning to hear how a watchdog investigation has uncovered evidence that increasing numbers of teenagers are turning to taking laxatives to lose weight. It is reported that some are taking dozens a day and seriously risking damaging their health. 

The charity 'Beat' the eating disorders charity have been monitoring numbers and reports that 80%of people with anorexia or bulimia have been taking them and many of them are children. According to beat the eating disorders charity there are real and dangerous serious risks to the overuse of laxatives

As there are different types of laxatives and they work in different ways the ways that they can impact the body vary.

Laxatives abuse can give rise to organ failure,kidney and liver damage,blockages in the intestines which means a defunct colon causing long term health problems. Laxatives abuse can even cause heart failure. 

 

This is an increasing and worrying trend fuelled by the many pro anorexia internet sites that offer dangerous tips about how to lose weight rapidly. 

 

From a former laxatives addict Lottie who appeared on the show this morning Lottie talks about the ease of buying so many tablets from the age of twelve without being questioned and also about the addictive nature of the rush of the effects of being trapped in that cycle of addiction of wanting to keep using them and also all the horrible side effects such as feeling miserable,anxious and irritable with painful stomach cramps. 

Lottie goes on to say how she now still has a sluggish bowel and gets stomach aches and feels that the addiction has really damaged her.

 As a parent with a teenage child the fact that there sites exist really worry me. I believe these sites are really dangerous and I think some form of urgent action  needs to be taken to have them blocked or closed down.

Clearly there is a very big problem with a threefold increase in recent years of calls to the charities help line.

Parents, if you notice that your child is suddenly losing weight rapidly and showing any or some of the signs outlined above, sit them down and have a  talk with them and find out what is happening as there may well be a problem your child is trying to cope with and of course hiding from you. 

You may notice changes in the behaviour and routines , for example are they going to the loo much more frequently?  Perhaps something in a busy schedule which may not be noticed. 

As this post deals with weight issues, many young teenagers these days are overweight and falling into the category of obesity and it is clear why there is this problem. If your child has a weight problem and a self image problem it is very important to recognise this and to talk to them and take the right action. Getting teenage youngsters to get out and take regular exercise these days is difficult at the best of times because of the culture of computers and the fact that as a society we have encouraged our kids to stay indoors and stay safe.

If your teenage child has a self image problem, it is probably even more difficult for them to want to be seen out and about as they no doubt want to shut themselves away from being seen, particularly if there is any concerns about physical or psychological bullying or abuse. They will also perhaps be feeling disempowered and unmotivated and may well find it difficult to like or love themselves.The lonesome overweight teenage child will most likely find comfort in eating and so causes a cycle of problems that they feel unable to control.  

From a therapy point of view we know that the help we provide can help people change their minds and change their lives in a positive way. Hypnotherapy can help with beating addictions and more importantly can also help people develop a new mindset to help naturally manage their weight through re-framing beliefs and attitudes and behaviours around diet and exercise in a much safer and more positive way

Trevor Wales. Dip Hyp. GQHP. BWRT. GHR. CRSST. CNHC.


 

Freud.Free Association and Hypnotherapy

 


 

 

 

Whilst researching through some old course notes on free association earlier this week I was reminded of this very interesting fact. For most of his career Freud used psychoanalysis with his patients but not in hypnosis. Freud studied hypnosis in Paris and used hypnosis at the beginning of his career.

 

 

At first he was a very enthusiastic proponent of hypnosis for some time but later decided to abandon it in favour of talking therapies. Over time however he actually came to realise and suggest that combining hypnosis with free association might hasten the process because of the way the subconscious mind can accept suggestion rather more quickly than the conscious mind.  In the cases of complex emotional issues many of  Freud's psychoanalysis sessions were typically around 1000 hours long. That is three sessions a week for seven years! No doubt putting the affordability  of the therapy out of the reach of many ordinary people.

 


It has always been a valid argument in hypnosis circles that change can take place far more rapidly at the subconscious level than at the conscious level where the judgmental conscious mind with all of its doubts, fears and neurosis which stem from the subconscious mind battle it out. By reprogramming the subconscious mind using hypnosis we can bring both parts of the mind into balance and harmony far more quickly than is the case in 'counselling' based talking therapies.

Combining free association with hypnosis shortens the whole process considerably so that a successful outcome may be achieved within perhaps as little six to ten sessions for the more complex emotional issues which all goes a long way to prove the efficacy of hypnosis

Trevor Wales. Dip Hyp. GQHP. BWRT. GHR. CRSST. CNHC.   

Phone 01726 69703 Skype :- Trevor.wales3


 

Depression and unhappiness.Where is the difference?

 


 New blog added 06th October 2014

Very interesting discussion on Sunday Morning Live on BBC 1 discussing‪#‎depression‬ and the blurring of lines between plain unhappiness and depression and the health system's apparent inability to make truly valid assessments where GP's may inadvertently incorrectly diagnose depression and hand out anti depression medication because of a lack of understanding of any clear distinctions between the two. What is interesting is this case is presented by retired psychiatrist and writer  Theodore Dalrymple and I think he does have a case based upon some of the evidence presented. According to Mr Dalrymple there is no biological marker for establishing the difference between unhappiness and depression.

                                

Essentially the recognition is that unhappiness and depression is about emotional responses to life events and our reactions to them, when events happen to people that bring about depression it can be a whole chain of events over many years culminating in emotional turmoil and unhappiness and a feeling of being unable to cope or a single traumatising event such as with PTSD or natural events such as PND. Undoubtedly there may be chemical changes in the body that anti depressant's seek to compensate for.


What is interesting and worrying is that in England fifteen million anti depressant's alone were dispensed in 1998 and by 2012 the figure had risen to forty million. No doubt this figure is affected by the current financial crisis that makes day to day living so difficult for millions of people both in work and out of work. Stress is the modern disease of our times. 
The fact that so much medication is dispensed is an enormous burden on the health service and I am sure that if talking therapies and hypnotherapy were widely available on the NHS with appointed practitioners working within the frame work that there would be more benefit for sufferers being given choice as evidenced by one contributor who describes her experience with anxiety being assessed by her doctor as a quick diagnosis for medication for controlling anxiety without the doctor finding anything out about her life history. 


Fortunately she had the resources to fund private treatment for talking therapies. I think an interesting outcome of this discussion agrees that talking therapies are of great importance in recovery and resolution and that it should be more widely available,i.e. on the NHS and that talking therapies would probably be faster to help sufferers to overcome depression and. much cheaper than endless anti depressant medication with all of its various side effects.

 

 

Also that in society we need to educate and shift peopled perceptions about the whole person being treated rather than just the mind as the two are obviously linked, i.e, patients with a serious physical illness or life changing trauma who may be suffering from depression which may well most likely be a natural by product of their condition and who believe that their GP in suggesting they are suffering from depression conclude that their GP thinks that it is all in their mind. From experience I know that is can be a very contentious issue as it very much depends on the how the GP communicates and with only ten minute slots these days it can be very difficult to expand the conversation. 
GP's are under enormous pressures too, but I think most people will agree that once their is an understanding that the whole person needs to be treated and that endless anti depressant's are not the whole answer then we will start making real progress in mental health issues.


Also we as a society need to de-stigmatise depression as most people experience depression at some time in their lives. In the world of life insurance a declaration of suffering from depression may have significant consequences to levels of cover or whether you may be insured at all and as also can a knowledge of depression by an employer be harmful to ones employment prospects if the employer decides that there is a problem. Yes there are welfare laws in place, but (a) employers can and do often flaunt the law and (b) the cost emotionally of fighting something happening like this is likely to be very high indeed.

The fact that a person suffers from depression can present genuine and worrying possibilities for an employer as to the safety of the employee carrying out their duties and the safety of other people in the care of the employee, however depression should not be a reason for writing someone off as being totally and completely incapable of doing their job. 


Depression is treatable and manageable and it occurs to me having watched Sunday morning live that there are some excellent efforts being made by individuals, bodies and organisations, into trying to educate society to understand depression and that it doesn't mean that people suffering with it are somehow faulty and to be marginalised away from society

Trevor Wales Dip.Hyp.GQHP.BWRT.GHR.CRSST.CNHC.

 


 

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