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Relationships and the pain of betrayal


New blog added 09/12/16


Can therapy help with raw emotions when relationships go wrong be they business or personal? 

Being deceived, betrayed, cheated on is never easy to deal with. Therapy may well help, even though that might be hard to deal with the thought at the aftermath. But in my experience it has helped numerous clients I have worked with. 

BWRT® is a dynamic psychotherapeutic process that effectively has the capacity to desensitise negative neural thought patterns that result in uncomfortable emotional reactions even before the emotional centres of the brain become aware of it. BWRT® allows for a very rapid change of feeling. It could be likened to switching track on a railway line and instead of traveling along the same neural pathway and accessing the familiar uncomfortable emotional response BWRT® allows for a new response to be created. 

You never know what you are going to wake up to on Facebook that is for sure and reading what has happened to a good friend prompts me to write a little. 

The biggest shock in a person's life barring the death of a loved one is a sense of betrayal, cheating or deceit whether that is work or relationships because the sense of loss and betrayal is almost certainly unexpected. It is a game changer for many and one immediately asks where they went wrong or what it is about them that isn't good enough. It is a fairly traumatic experience especially where there is a huge emotional and sometimes financial investment. 

There is nothing quite so bad as finding your partner has cheated on you and it is sometimes hard to beleive you will ever recover and come out the other side intact

Years ago, a business friend of mine had his life ripped apart to losing everything because his business partner stole from the business and was very clever in deceiving an honest trusting guy and this morning I read the shock of one of my mates who's world has been turned upside down. 
There is nothing worse than the betrayal of trust in what was a good relationship. 

Internal company politics and hostile takeovers can leave one reeling with a sense of worthlessness and betrayal, especially in the case of long term service and being dismissed at short notice 

I know some relationships can drive people to separate and do something wayward like the employee who steals because they are badly treated or the partner who becomes unfaithful because of bad treatment, but in a relationship that is largely good on the whole, finding out the hard way is a shock and can turn our own core values and sense of who we are on its head and even worse it can in all possibility change us for the worse too if we are not emotionally strong enough to deal with the situation and allow the sense of loss and lack of emotional recovery to become the driving force, because human nature being what it is we tend to blame ourselves perhaps far more than the other party.

Coming to terms quickly with the situation and regaining our equilibrium is vital but often not easy and hanging on to our core values and sense of identity is important along with identifying any changes we need to make on an inner level. Above all it is so important that we learn from the experience and not let it make us bitter and resentful in the long term as that can change us and may lead to being deeply unhappy with ourselves. We need to let go in order for the new to enter our lives.
This is where therapy can help and BWRT® has been found to be particularly effective in many instances. 


Trevor R Wales



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